owner-nettime-l on Sun, 8 Nov 1998 07:17:15 +0100 (CET)

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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 07 Nov 1998 13:23:30 -0800
From: Phantom Overtone <overtone@gte.net>
To: Nettime List <nettime@Desk.nl>
Subject: <nettime> Terms Of Alterity
Sender: owner-nettime-l@basis.desk.nl
Precedence: bulk

Terms Of Alterity

I have never written to deny life, only to promote its vitality and energy.
 I have never written to embrace society and culture, only to deviate and
escape its clutches; a relentless subversion that inscribes me underground,
underworld, outside the accepted limits.  This discourse is heavy, and
because of its girth, the words never quite leave the ground, they never
see the light of day, they are only permitted to dance and celebrate within
the sanguine realm of the imaginary - the simulacre of the subjective.  I
never write to deny myself.  Seemingly, I am all I have, and I revel in
this narcissism, to the detriment of my self.

Each intention, each word, each phrase, each statement is a new skin.  I
never write to shed my skin, rather, every use of discourse is an attempt
to create a new one; a smooth, glistening sheen of vitality - very sleek,
very glossy.  This new burnished exterior forms a confession, a confession
of individual shades and degrees; momentarily whole, without splintering,
without fragmentation.  Each additional skin is an additional layer of
self, an additional positional discourse; one more step on a descending
staircase that condenses into a network of self-depth.  

This process of self-layering is also a process of unfolding.  The density
of layers and folds; stacked one atop another, one within another, one
within and throughout another, produces a field of folds, a field of layers
in which there is too much id and not enough ego.

At this point, there is no pain, no emotion, no sensation - only the
systematic operation of discursive simulacre and apparatus; writing to
escape, to be reconstituted, to explore, to become lost in the movements of
the threshold.

There are tactical tensions and decisions to be made in regard to whether
one should reveal or conceal themselves in this new skin of the self.  With
writing, one can accomplish both objectives; either individually, or
together at the same time.  So it is that I become content to roam in the
diffusion, lost, wandering, happily venturing through the avatars.  This is
the new threshold, a new skin, the self smothered and reconstituted in the
operations and layers of discourse, a product and function of the
discursive architecture. 

- Phantom Overtone

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