Bruce Sterling on Fri, 21 Dec 2001 18:18:33 +0100 (CET)

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<nettime> FW: U.S. Federal Government to Move Offshore

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From: "futurefeedforward" <>
Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 17:13:21 -0800
To: <>
Subject: U.S. Federal Government to Move Offshore

February 3, 2047

U.S. Federal Government to Move Offshore

NASSAU--In a bid to cut costs and enhance security the House of
Representatives voted Tuesday to approve a Senate bill relocating both
Congressional bodies to an unnamed offshore banking and tax haven.  "The
move is sure to result in immediate cost savings to the American people,"
notes Senator Janet Rent (D-Calif).  "By moving to a tax haven we can cut
payroll costs dramatically because we can reduce salaries without reducing
take-home pay."

    Following in the footsteps of the Supreme Court's relocation to Nassau,
the Bahamas, the plan calls for Congress to take advantage of offshore
banking and corporate secrecy laws to enhance security for top government
decision-makers.  "Just the way the Court set up blind trusts for each of
the justices to protect their identities, we'll do the same for
congresspeople and key staffers," explains Senator Rent.  "My seat will
technically be held by the 'First California Senatorial Seat Trust, IBC'
and, during my term, I'll act through the Trust's registered agent as an
anonymous, controlling shareholder.  If nobody knows who we are nobody can
threaten us."

    The plan further calls for establishment of a special, standing
committee within the Federal Election Commission to oversee the
administration of blind trusts representing candidates for major offices.
"The Commission supports this initiative as a way to disincentivize smear
campaigning," notes FEC General Counsel Renee Majeur.  "When your opponent
is the Democratic Candidate for the Fifth District Trust you've got no real
way to engage in negative campaigning.  All you can talk about are the

    Operating offshore for the past four years, the Supreme Court reports
few difficulties and has announced preliminary plans to begin moving Federal
appellate courts offshore in the spring.  "Being offshore has done wonders
for our independence as judges," reports The Chief Justice Trust, IBC.
"There were a few kinks at first, just working out the logistics of
communication through the agents for the Trusts, but now we are truly free
to offer neutral, disinterested rulings unaffected by improper political

    Not to be outdone by the legislative and judicial branches, two
executive agencies have indicated interest in moving operations offshore,
including the Internal Revenue Service, which sees in the move a chance to
engage tax-evaders on an equal footing.  "They've been complaining for years
about the use of offshore shells to hide and launder taxable revenues,"
notes Senator Rent.  "Now [the IRS] will benefit from the same level of

    Critics of the offshore migration point reasonably to the threat it
poses to public accountability.  "Is there really such a thing as
accountability when I don't know the real identity of my elected
representative?" asks Democracy First spokesman Manuel Jig.  "How will we
even know that the same person controls an elected Trust for the whole term?
This is the birth of a secret, faceless government, a government no longer
of the people."


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