Bruce Sterling on Mon, 18 Jun 2001 06:23:36 +0200 (CEST)

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[Nettime-bold] FW: Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall

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From: "futurefeedforward" <>
Date: Sun, 17 Jun 2001 20:31:51 -0700
To: <>
Subject: Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall

December 14, 2050

Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall

WASHINGTON DC--The U.S. National Intellectual Property Trust today issued a
formal recall of all licenses issued under its patents covering consumerism,
consumer capitalism, and consumer federalism.  Responding to questions
concerning the timing of the recall, Trust spokesman Franklin Dolte noted
that "we at the Trust have decided to take aggressive and proactive measures
to address several independent but uncorroborated reports of side-effects
associated with some of our more widely licensed proprietary ideologies.
Experts are examining the processes in question and we anticipate returning
consumerism to full use in good order.  But our customers and their citizens
are our first concern and so we're taking steps now to initiate a recall
just to be on the safe side."

    Among the first of the controversial 'social process' or 'ideology'
patents issued under rules promulgated by the WIPO six years ago, the U.S.
patent on consumerism and related "democratic social and cultural processes"
has been among the most lucrative patents in the U.S. portfolio.  Licensees
include some 1822 local, provincial, and national sovereignties, the
majority of which hold site licenses paying royalties tied to domestic and
local GDP, with the remainder holding seat licenses billed on a sliding
scale with discounts for 'temporary' seats assigned to non-resident aliens
and escaped or furloughed penitentiarents.

    Recently the U.S. Trust has sought to expand the market for its
consumerism patents by pursuing the private-sector.  The Trust's Dolte
explains:  "This technology sells itself.  The real task before us is not to
convince multi-nationals to make use of our proprietary ideologies, but just
to negotiate the terms under which they will pay for the property they are
already using."

    Long-time rumors of defects in consumer capitalism, including
accelerating income disparities and "environmentally negative externalities"
lead the U.S. Trust to compile a 1200 page disclaimer issued and
exhaustively counter-signed by each of its licensees.  "Diarrhea,"
"mouth-breathing," and "TV" are among the more than 100,000 disclosed
potential side-effects.  Absent from the disclaimer, however, is the risk of
an increase in what social scientists have come to call "atomic nesting."

    "Atomic nesting is directly related to dramatic increases in the
production and availability of household appliances," explains MIT Professor
Emeritus Ricky Spongue.  "All of those appliances need places to live.  In
order to maximize their habitat, they entice individuals to set up solitary
households.  The result is that more and more people live alone, and that is
not necessarily a desirable social outcome."

    Responding to questions linking the recall to reported increases in
atomic nesting in licensee communities, Trust spokesman Dolte declined
specific comment.  "This is a general recall to examine any and all safety
issues," he noted.  "Our license agreements provide for recalls of this
sort.  Licensees are free to revert to pre-consumer ideologies and social
structures until we've reaffirmed that consumerism is safe for our customers
and their citizens."


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